Boho Flower Girl Ideas for Black Bridesmaids

Happy belated Easter lovely people! Hope you have all had a brilliant long weekend. We certainly have. Too much chocolate has already been consumed in the Dunstone house and we have barely ‘cracked’ the surface of the full supply!

We have such a gorgeous bridesmaid shoot and important message to share with you all today. A shoot that features the beautiful Ava, little sister of Leesha Williams Photography and the absolute star of the show on Festival Brides today.

Ava is going to be Leesha’s chief bridesmaid and a few years ago, whilst Leesha was in the early stages of planning her wedding, Leesha and Ava spent a girly evening researching flower girl ideas and inspiration on wedding websites and within magazines. The next day Ava woke up and said she could no longer be Leesha’s flower girl because she was not as pretty as the little white girls that had dominated the images Leesha and her had seen. Leesha says…

…after a lot of questions, Ava finally admitted that she didn’t feel like she could be a bridesmaid because she wasn’t pretty enough, white enough and didn’t have anything in common with the flower girls that she saw online or in the magazines, so therefore felt like she couldn’t be our flower girl. That literally broke my heart, to see one of the most loveliest, innocent, caring, sweet little girls say no to doing something that she’d always wanted to do and that she’d looked forward to (even before we got engaged) because she didn’t feel like she could because of the colour of her skin.
Leesha Williams Photography

What made this whole situation so triggering and upsetting for Leesha is that this is exactly how she felt growing up as a child and now, 20+ years on, her sister was feeling the same way. Nothing had changed so Leesha created this shoot for Ava, and all of the other black children that feel unseen in the wedding industry. She wanted to create awareness in the UK that the wedding industry needs to change.

Since the tragic murder of George Floyd, the Black Lives Matter movement has gained the huge global recognition it rightly deserves and racism, in all it’s many insidious forms, has started to become the main topic of conversation, and sadly debate (racism is not a debate), across many different industries and sectors in the world. The wedding industry is no exception. In June and July 2020, we became aware of incredible black and brown creatives and suppliers in the wedding industry (Leesha Williams included) who were already sharing their stories and experiences of racism both within the wedding industry, and their personal lives, and creating shoots and content to #changetheweddingindustry. They talked about the lack of diversity, inclusion and representation within main wedding media (Festival Brides included) and how both the work of black and brown creatives, and the desires of black and brown couples, had been ignored in favour of catering to the white cisgender majority. For the first time, Festival Brides became properly ‘woke’ to racism and its devastating effects. By this we are not referring to the overt acts of racism we see plaguing society. Nor are we referring to doing the bare minimum anti-racism work by increasing representation on our website and social media feeds. We are talking about waking up to and learning about:

The fact that racism is a public health crisis

The very real mental health trauma that is caused by the subtle microaggressions black and brown people experience day to day.

The systematic racism that makes it that extra bit harder for black and brown people to succeed and to feel as if they belong in their own country.

The inherent racism we (Festival Brides) personally have due to unconscious bias and conditioning by a society that puts white cisgender people at the top of the hierarchical pyramid.

And last, but by no means least, what it means to be anti-racist in every single aspect of your day to day life.

Festival Brides changed massively in June 2020. It led to us starting activist, and all round incredible human being, Nova Reid’s anti-racism course, which has been life changing in many ways. It is because of Nova’s course, and stories like Ava and Leesha’s, that we will never stop using our platform to spread awareness and to bring about change. We want Festival Brides to be a safe place for EVERYONE – not just societies outdated idea of ‘normal.’ We know we have a long way to go, and we also acknowledge that we are new to this and that other wedding platforms, such as Nu Bride, Patchwork, Catalyst Wedding Co. (to name but a few), have been creating awareness for years. We know we have a lot to learn but we are on this path now and there is no stopping us!

To beautiful Ava, Leesha and all of our black and brown readers who have felt ignored by Festival Brides and the wedding industry in the past, we are so very sorry. We want you to know that we are the problem, not you. Only just waking up to racism in June 2020 is something we will forever be sorry for, but we promise you we will never fall asleep again and if we make mistakes, if you read something that is tokenising, performative or in danger of being saviorism, please tell us. Email me (Laura) and let us know how we can do better.

Thank you for letting us share your gorgeous photos Ava, you are going to make the most beautiful little bridesmaid, and to the lovely Leesha Williams for creating this shoot and saying yes to us featuring it.

So lovely people, without further ado, here is the gorgeous Ava in all her little maid bohemian glory (that faux flower crown is just so gorgeous) and her big sister Leesha sharing with us why it is so important for the wedding industry to urgently change.

If you want to do one thing that is anti-racist today, read this feature.

Big love everyone

Laura xx

An Important Message…

Words by Leesha Williams Photography

A lot of other black wedding suppliers that I’ve spoken to recently have said the same thing. It’s great to have our work shared and recognised but it still hits a nerve that our work should’ve been and was good enough to be shared beforehand. For blogs, influencers and others, actions speak louder than words. If you’re not having submissions featuring black couples, it may be because they don’t feel like they’re being properly represented in your space.

So for those who are just starting to wake up and are shocked at the lack of representation in the wedding industry, and in society in general, it may be worth asking yourselves if you’re doing everything you can to be truly inclusive. If you don’t have the content right now you can still share resources, blog posts and other information that shows you’re actually invested and that it’s not just performative by doing this you’ll create a safer space and hopefully over time people will want to share their content with you.

The Beautiful Ava…

I’ve probably briefly mentioned the driving force for me personally behind our “Black Brides Matter” shoot last year. It was largely about not feeling represented in the wedding industry as a supplier and as a black bride. But the thing that really drove me to create that shoot and that has led me to organise shoots like it, is my little sister Ava.

A couple of years ago, Ava and I were chatting about my upcoming wedding and how she was going to be our “chief” flower girl. Obviously she was super excited and we decided to have a girly night researching weddings and flower girls on Pinterest and in various magazines.

The next day, Ava seemed really upset and so she pulled me to the side and told me that she couldn’t be our flower girl anymore. After a lot of questions, she finally admitted that she didn’t feel like she could be because she wasn’t pretty enough, white enough and didn’t have anything in common with the flower girls that she saw online or in the magazines, so therefore felt like she couldn’t be our flower girl.

That literally broke my heart, to see one of the most loveliest, innocent, caring, sweet little girls say no to doing something that she’d always wanted to do and that she’d looked forward to (even before we got engaged) because she didn’t feel like she could because of the colour of her skin. What made it worse is that I grew up feeling the exact same way and it’s taken me years to feel comfortable and love the colour of my skin, which tells me not a lot has really changed in 20+ years.

So instead, I think we should start teaching them that they’re beautiful, and not that they’re “beautiful for a black girl/light skinned/dark skinned girl” but beautiful for being who they are, just the way they are.

I spent a really long time feeling uncomfortable and out of place because of my skin colour. When I started working in the wedding industry that feeling was amplified but all of this has made me realise that to properly make a difference, I have to realise my own self worth and be proud of my skin colour so that I can help others do the same.

Since that day I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to show Ava shoots that I do and that others have done that are different/quirky that involve a black bride or a black woman, so that she can see herself represented on social media and every time this happens, I see her confidence grow more and more.

Ava, and others like her, are my driving force to try and change the wedding industry and what we see on social media. I think that we should all try and work together to make a difference so that when children like Ava become old enough to take notice of things they see in the media, they see themselves and people who look like them and don’t feel alienated, or unloved or unworthy. Because at the end of the day unless we show them that they’re loved, safe and worthy, how are they supposed to believe it.

To Ava, you’re going to make an incredible and beautiful flower girl and to all of the other black children, young people, couples and suppliers out there, I promise that I’m going to fight harder and work more to make sure that you’re better represented and know how magical and worthy you are.

To other young girls who feel the same way, you’re not pretty “for a black girl” you’re beautiful, end of discussion. Don’t let anyone make you feel that your skin colour, your hair type or any other shitty societal beauty standard is directly related to your self worth.

To the lovely Casey of Fauxtanical, Liniz of Wonderland Wedding Venues and Gail of Scrivels By Walled Garden, thank you for having me and more importantly thank you for allowing me to create these photos, you all helped to make Ava feel like a real princess.

To all of the big blogs, influencers and everyone else, let’s all work together to make this industry a safer, more inclusive place for black people and other minorities.